drink it down and smile

You are a hipster. 80% of the kids I met are hipsters. yes, they think they are hip and cool.

Let me tell you something, I will never get along with ya. You turn on mainstream music mp3 u downloaded somewhere off the internet and played them over and over. You wear that hip-hip jacket, big-big glasses, and maybe you have to bring an umbrella as well during the day. You want to be just like the crowd, when you aren't you to think you are old-fashioned. 

OH FUCK YOU. you all are fags. 

Right where I belong

I don't know but I believe I am much more fired up to get things done pretty well here in Suzhou.

Maybe it was because that I needed myself to know back when I was in Indonesia how restless and useless I was to come back home but not having my purpose fulfilled. And this time I am given a chance to finish this.

And talking about age, by the way I begin to feel OLD, man! I am no longer like some of those fresh highschool graduates who feel that being put to study aboard is a Total Freedom. What I feel now is, you are meant to be here because you have something to be accomplished. Yeah, I guess that's about it. Another wall of texts, im sorry for not putting any picture, haven't been taking group pictures or anything here.

Haha Huhu~

So I was like going to this karaoke with my cousin and his gf. Unexpectedly they were bringing more friends which I haven't met before yet. So I just enjoyed the karaoke and just being easy going as easy as i can (wtf is going easy as easy as i can?)

so after some times, i finally came out with a "yes" after they asking me to sing a fucking song for so many times. I was shy but fuck it. that eminem feat rihana love the way you lie song pops and i blast like one fucking rapping star man. eventhough i got out of breath at some moments but i totally stunned them and myself, actually, that i could do the rap quite flawlessly MAN! HAHAHAH. it was definitely an epic shame for the 2 guys who deliberately chose linkin park "in the end" song and messed up the rap and verses, totally. hahahhaha.

Was fun. no PUN intended LOL. I know you guys are viewing this. THANKS :D

who you reaching out to?

somehow i'm so obsessed with this song and the rap.

by the way...

a very typical shit you all may be going through is backstabbers - if you live with many different people in different places like me. well, dealing with backstabbers, there is one thing I learned and i think you should know: they are only powerful when you have your back turned.

bringing chorus to the dirt

I wanted to blog so much, since I have plenty of times all night long going through this insomnia madness. But I know I must not put another walls of text full of rants. Plus, somehow I can't access deviantart from here. This sucks so bad :(

The only time I enjoy myself is only when I am out of this house spending time with my fellow friends. Maybe thats cus I let go some disturbing thoughts when I'm hanging out. Once I step into my house, all the pressure and shit start filling my head and bam - I have issue dealing with my mum. I got mad so easily. Oh gawd what should I do.. this shit will still apply though "Laugh at your problems, everybody else does."

Flightless Bird

I don't know if anyone is still reading this blog. It ain't like 2009! My blog is now quite boring xD I know it, but its just me - I just love to write whatever that comes on my mind ever since I was a very young kid. I used to make my own silly heroic stories on wordpad when I was a very young kid, no kidding.

So now why am I so afraid of falling down. This is the main point of this posting, my deepest fear in life.

I may be growing in a good enough family, having enough for almost everything - materials and non-materials.

But, eventually, things change. I have to take responsibility in life, and the most important thing is to learn how to survive without taking a free ride.

Honestly I am unhappy with my present state. Unhappy with myself. Unhappy with the outcome of my life. It is too late to change the past no matter how much I talk it over, and complain about it, and I will still be in the position I am in.

I can no longer live the life like I had, I must change my ways. I have to make the right choice.

Easier said then done, I know. But at least I realized how lucky I have been all along. Things will get better in time because I still believe the best is yet to come.

CHEERS!

everyday rollercoasters

I am pausing this tiny little moment. I am going to do a little self reflection.

I am asking myself why the older I get, the more I rant. Look at my postings and my facebook statuses, those are merely pointless rants.

Life is life, but sometimes you just gotta introspect yourself.

So just let me live my life. (I don't really have to mention this but, seriously no offense.)

I hate this but I suck at convincing people that I am pretty much always solo things that I do. So whenever I refuse somebody's involvement, it is just hard to avoid them from taking hard feeling over it. To be honest though, I am happy to be independent. I am happy doing my own things. I am happy not to be nosy enough to involve myself in unnecessary gatherings, social thingy shit, or anything else that does not interest me.

whatever you're doing

I used to love and I did break people's heart. Once that happened, it infused one or two things into my mind which the main point is: "If you dare to love, you are about to hurt her". Hence, this kind of mindset keeps me alone and keeping a distance from any females just cuz i'm afraid to fall for someone.

Here is the thing. At my age, honestly I need a companion. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers. But sometimes you need someone you can call her/him a partner. Someone who has the passion to accompany you, understand you, and of course he/she must suit to your personal liking. Being scared of hurting or to be hurt is an excuse. And here I am, throwing away all those excuses, starting anew. Whats gonna happen next? It is up to you.