// wishlist, shoutout + + +

the ZOMFGWTFBBQ iPhone 3GS! classic dream! (Granted)

the super hot LOMO LC-A+ RL Camera !!

not using twitter anymore, \\

animation

got deviantart?
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Thursday, October 14, 2010

dusk.

"Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine."


repressed feelings,
not needing any perfect line,
words into melodies as i represent them,
i fell on my knee and i found my way out,
to the clandestine of my heart.

::

I was wishing I could have someone I can hold on to.



these 3 songs are awesome especially "Waiting for the End" the song you always listen to every morning to start your day :) enjoy!!


So today is like the 3rd day of my streak sleepless nights. I didn't really sleep and today actually I didn't sleep at all compared to the previous two days I still had like at least 3-4 hours sleep. The syndrome of a restless heart. I think too much, that's it.

I got to say that's all for now, i got panda eyebags already. and i feel like a zombie now. gotta sleep. thanks for viewing, hope i can see you guys soon. that includes you dude who is viewing this from Singapore. miss you guys.

clandestine.

Sheit! i need more money now seriously, any idea how to convince our parents how hard it actually really seriously is to live a life with a very limited amount of resources? i mean, at least give me a fixed amount of money through some sort of deal for a month so i can manage my spending. just like a few weeks more, winter is coming. and i afforded to buy a nice zara wool jacket and a gay (Seriously it is) pair of thick pink socks to wear in dorm only, sorry for not uploading the photos, its gross.

SO, for your information, winter will take like a few months. and i swear you don't want to wear the same jacket everyday right. now going back to the problem, it is hard for me to tell my parents how to deal with this because the total spending for this first month is already like $10.000 RMB which includes my stay, food, electricity, water, and other shit. but oh gawd, everyone is spending the same or even more because it is the very first month here. we got hell loads of things to settle and you gotta pay for it. like the internet, some instant noodles we all chinese need to indulge in for breakfast or whenever we're hungry, a dispenser + mineral water gallons we have to pay monthly, coffee/cigarettes/milo, and ETC. BLAH.

it will be nice if your parents can tell you like "Okay Wanda, since you're living in Beijing, the Capital City of China where food prices aren't the same with Guangzhou, i will give u a fix amount of 2.000/2.500/3.000 RMB a month excluding your monthly dormitory bills." i will be like "Thank you, Father O'Lord of heaven, for enlightening my parents.".
So instead of that, my parents always send me a random amount of money every time i asked them i need some money. sometimes they don't even ask you how much do you need, why do you need them for. i know, i know, its not easy for them. they are working their asses off for me, and i know that so well. its just - this is the situation they kinda need to understand. unless they want me to put a tattoo saying "open for business" on my butt. im not gonna do that, no im not gay.

BY THE WAY, i have been eating these cheap fried rice, dumplings, pork this pork that which are all less than 10 YUAN lately to save money. and guess what, i thought it will be a healthy diet for me. turns out it ain't properly called a diet at all. the oil, yuck, seriously it is unhealthy and sometimes i just left the food there and paid the bill. so next time, i know what not to order.


financial crisis T.T
oh btw, why recently these "eksis" thingy all indos have been talking about really bother me? Personally thats dumb. I ain't faking myself to get recognized. Stick with the same shit people,
"don't know - don't care."
but still, don't be afraid to introduce yourself to other. be friendly at least.
JUST DON'T OVERREACT TO IT.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

on your knees you will think clearer

sometimes, in life, we have to go through the so-called ups and downs. oh well. those who can't really make their mind set on something, having one purpose and work for it wholeheartedly, will easily get frustrated on something. it is true that you may feel joy at times but you are feeling down often as well.

so when someone tells you "don't think about the negative sides, always think or take the positive sides of things", that is like someone is teaching you how to lie. personally, i tend to react more on negative stuffs that people have to say. it doesn't matter how many nice things i see i focus on the negative. so if i screwed something and people give me negative comments, i will react to it and in the end it forces me to think how to solve or not to repeat the same shit all over again.

as easy as to type crap and a click on facebook. everyone is trying to shout whatever they want. stuffs like old philosophy where your parents or teachers probably had already taught you, now your friends are repeating the same shit without first looking at the meaning and think about the phrase they were about to say. but if you're the type who put your doctrine up rather than your own knowledge and thinking, too bad you will agree to everything.

sorry for bad english and grammar. i don't really care but yeah i hope you guys get the point im trying to say :)

HAVE A BLASTING DAY.

words into melodies


::::

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

don't need another perfect line

skip this.
it is for you, yes you.
the only one i have had.
the star that once kept shining in my life.
probably you know life gets boring sometimes and you need another story for yourself.
skip this.





Friday, October 8, 2010

repress feelings






why can't i just raise my voice to say

Monday, October 4, 2010

anywhere you go, anything you do...

and the drama takes place, it continues to the next level of conflict.. but something inside me just tells me not to stop..




Sunday, October 3, 2010

you felt it so strong but...

Actually i almost posted about this stupid teenage story about me and a total stranger who comes into my life a few days ago. but then i decided not to post it to avoid any continuation of the cold war *cold drama suits best, actually* that has been happening here.

but wait, this one song will depict the whole story of the draft i made. i am not faking this, its just coincidental how this song can really fit the situation.



Saturday, October 2, 2010

a birthday surprise, an unending rain, and great friends


it has already been 1 month stay in Beijing! that is seriously fast!

By the way, happy birthday to San Phei! i and my dorm-mates have successfully surprised her and the best part was when she cried after seeing us bumping into her room while she was sleeping.

So after the party, on the way back home riding our bikes, we were stormed with freezing rain and wind. but given with no choice, we just rushed home because the weather in Beijing is so unpredictable. even until now as i write this blog, its still raining. lucky enough, all of us have already brought our own jacket. so yeah, at least we didn't get frostbite and passed out in the middle of the way caused by the extreme cold.



wandasan's iphone's #1 most played song of the week